I’ve been seeing a lot of posts online about people finding their "passion" or feeling driven to achieve something monumental, like starting a non-profit, inventing something life-changing, or climbing Everest. I’m happy for them, truly, but it makes me wonder about myself. I enjoy my life; I have hobbies, good friends, a stable job that I don’t hate, and I contribute to my community in small ways. But I don’t have that burning desire to leave some huge, impactful mark on the world. I don’t feel a strong pull toward any grand ambition. So, considering the current cultural emphasis on finding one’s "purpose" and pursuing extraordinary goals, and knowing that many people do seem to feel this sense of calling, is it normal to not feel called to anything big, or is that a sign I’m somehow missing out or not living up to my potential? And, if it is normal, how do I reconcile that feeling with the pressure to constantly be striving for something "more?"
Answer
Yes, it is normal to not feel called to anything "big."
Understanding "Normal":
"Normal" in this context refers to a common human experience. Not everyone feels a burning desire or sense of destiny towards a grand ambition, a revolutionary cause, or a world-changing career. Human motivation and life satisfaction are diverse and individualistic.
Why Some Don’t Feel a "Big Calling":
- Differing Priorities: People prioritize different things in their lives. Some find fulfillment in family, hobbies, community involvement on a smaller scale, personal growth, or simply enjoying everyday life. These are perfectly valid and meaningful pursuits.
- Society’s Definition of "Big": Societal pressures often equate success and meaning with large-scale achievements (wealth, fame, influence). Many individuals may be content and successful in their own way without needing external validation of this kind. Redefining success on your own terms is essential.
- Personality and Temperament: Some personality types are more drawn to quiet contentment and stability than to risk-taking and ambition. Introverts, for example, may find energy and meaning in solitude and reflection rather than in leading a movement.
- Exploration and Experimentation: Some individuals are still in the process of exploring their interests and passions and haven’t yet found something that resonates as a "big calling." It is natural to change and evolve throughout your life and your interests and ambitions might change as well.
- Fear of Failure: The perceived pressure to live up to a "big calling" can be daunting, leading to hesitation and inaction. The fear of not succeeding on a grand scale can prevent someone from even trying.
- Contentment with the Present: Some people are simply happy with their current lives. They may have found peace and satisfaction in their relationships, work, or personal pursuits, and don’t feel a need to strive for something more.
- Burnout or Overwhelm: Those who have previously pursued ambitious goals and experienced burnout may consciously choose to step back and prioritize well-being over grand achievements.
- Shifting Societal Values: As society evolves, so do the values placed on different types of contributions. There is growing recognition of the importance of everyday acts of kindness, sustainable living, and local community building, which might not be considered "big" in the traditional sense but are undeniably impactful.
- The Illusion of a Single Calling: The idea of a single, predetermined "calling" might be a myth. People often have multiple interests and talents, and their life paths can take unexpected turns. The search for a singular calling can be frustrating and ultimately unproductive.
- Mental Health Considerations: In some cases, a lack of motivation or direction could be related to underlying mental health conditions such as depression or anxiety. It is important to seek professional help if you are experiencing persistent feelings of apathy or hopelessness.
- Privilege Awareness: Many individuals may be aware of their privileged position in society. This awareness can lead them to question the validity of pursuing personal ambition when others face systemic barriers and injustices. They may choose to prioritize activism or support for marginalized communities over their own individual pursuits.
Focusing on Meaning and Purpose:
Instead of searching for a "big calling," it can be more helpful to focus on finding meaning and purpose in everyday life. This can involve:
- Identifying Your Values: What is truly important to you? (e.g., compassion, creativity, justice, connection). Align your actions with your values.
- Setting Small, Achievable Goals: Break down larger aspirations into smaller, more manageable steps.
- Cultivating Gratitude: Appreciate the good things in your life, no matter how small.
- Practicing Mindfulness: Be present in the moment and savor everyday experiences.
- Finding Joy in Simple Things: Engage in activities that bring you pleasure and fulfillment.
- Connecting with Others: Build meaningful relationships and support networks.
- Making a Difference in Your Community: Volunteer your time or donate to causes you care about.
Ultimately, a fulfilling life is not defined by the size or scale of one’s accomplishments, but by the meaning and purpose one finds in their experiences. It is perfectly normal and acceptable to live a life of quiet contentment and personal fulfillment without feeling the need to pursue grand ambitions.
Pray This Prayer
Dear God,
I come to you today feeling a little lost, a little adrift. I look around and see others seemingly driven by purpose, energized by passion, and called to do something… big. And I, Lord, feel… normal. Maybe even a little empty.
Is it normal, God, to not feel called to anything big? To not have a burning desire to change the world, to invent something amazing, or to lead a revolution? Am I failing somehow if my ambitions feel quieter, more personal, more… ordinary?
If this feeling is born of fear, quiet my anxious heart. Help me to trust that you have a plan for me, even if I can’t see the grand design. If it’s born of complacency, nudge me gently towards action, towards using my gifts, however small they may seem, to bring light and love into the world.
Help me to see the beauty in the everyday, the significance in the small acts of kindness, the power of simply being present and loving well. Perhaps my “big” calling is hidden in the multitude of small moments, in the quiet faithfulness of my daily life.
Remind me that I am enough, just as I am. That your love for me is unconditional, regardless of my accomplishments or the size of my impact.
Give me the wisdom to discern what you are calling me to do, whether it’s a grand gesture or a gentle whisper. And give me the courage to follow that path, whatever it may be.
Thank you for your patience, your grace, and your unwavering love.
Amen.
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