* What are the core qualities of Jesus’s friendships?

What are the core qualities of Jesus’s friendships, considering both his interactions with his inner circle (like Peter, James, and John) and his relationships with those on the margins of society (like tax collectors, lepers, and women)? I’m interested in understanding not just what he did, but why he related to people in the way he did. What values underpinned these relationships? For example, was it unconditional love, forgiveness, radical acceptance, vulnerability, or something else entirely? How did Jesus balance his divine mission with the demands and joys of human connection, and how are these qualities different or the same with how we show friendship today?

Answer

The core qualities of Jesus’s friendships can be characterized by:

• Love (Agape): Jesus’s friendships were rooted in unconditional love, often referred to as agape. This love extended beyond mere affection and encompassed a deep concern for the well-being, growth, and salvation of his friends. He loved them despite their flaws and shortcomings. Examples include his unwavering love for Peter despite Peter’s denial, and his love for Judas even knowing of his betrayal.

• Self-Sacrifice: Jesus demonstrated his love through self-sacrifice. He prioritized the needs of his friends over his own, offering his time, energy, and ultimately his life for them. The ultimate act of self-sacrifice was his crucifixion for the redemption of humanity, including his friends. The washing of the disciples’ feet (John 13) is another significant example, demonstrating humility and willingness to serve.

• Loyalty and Forgiveness: Jesus remained loyal to his friends, even when they doubted or abandoned him. He readily forgave their mistakes and provided opportunities for them to learn and grow. Peter’s denial of Jesus is followed by Jesus’s post-resurrection reinstatement of Peter, demonstrating forgiveness and restoration.

• Intimacy and Vulnerability: While maintaining a divine persona, Jesus demonstrated vulnerability with his close friends. He shared his joys, sorrows, and fears with them, creating a deep sense of intimacy. The Garden of Gethsemane experience (Matthew 26:36-46) showcases Jesus’s vulnerability and sharing his distress with Peter, James, and John.

• Acceptance and Non-Judgment: Jesus accepted his friends as they were, without judgment. He saw their potential and encouraged them to grow into their best selves. He interacted with tax collectors, sinners, and those marginalized by society, demonstrating an acceptance that transcended social norms. His interaction with Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) exemplifies this.

• Teaching and Mentorship: Jesus used his friendships as opportunities to teach and mentor his disciples. He imparted wisdom, shared parables, and provided guidance on how to live a life of faith and service. The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7) and numerous teachings throughout the Gospels illustrate this mentorship.

• Availability and Presence: Jesus made himself available to his friends, spending time with them, listening to their concerns, and offering support. He was present in their lives, both in times of joy and sorrow. His attendance at the wedding in Cana (John 2:1-11) shows his willingness to participate in their lives and offer assistance.

• Honest Communication: Jesus engaged in honest and direct communication with his friends, even when it was difficult. He challenged them to grow and held them accountable for their actions. His rebuke of Peter (Matthew 16:23) when Peter tried to dissuade him from his mission illustrates this honest communication.

• Prayer and Intercession: Jesus prayed for his friends, interceding on their behalf with the Father. He understood the power of prayer and its importance in their lives. His prayer for Peter (Luke 22:32), that his faith would not fail, demonstrates this intercessory prayer.

• Empowerment: Jesus empowered his friends to carry on his work after his ascension. He gave them the authority and resources to spread the Gospel and make disciples of all nations. The Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) exemplifies this empowerment.

Pray This Prayer

Heavenly Father,

We come before you today, seeking to understand and embody the qualities that defined Jesus’s friendships. We long to be the kind of friend he was, a beacon of your love in the lives of those around us.

Help us to cultivate the unconditional love he showed, a love that saw past flaws and shortcomings, embracing individuals for who they were, not who they should be. Grant us the grace to accept others with open hearts, offering compassion and forgiveness freely, mirroring the boundless mercy Jesus extended to his companions.

Instill in us the loyalty and steadfastness he demonstrated. Just as he stood by his disciples through trials and tribulations, help us to be reliable and trustworthy, offering unwavering support and encouragement to our friends in times of need. Remind us that true friendship is not fair-weather, but a commitment to journey alongside others through thick and thin.

Give us the radical inclusion Jesus exemplified. He welcomed the marginalized, the outcast, and the forgotten, sharing his table and his heart with those society often rejected. Empower us to break down barriers and extend our hand to those who are lonely, excluded, or in need of connection.

And most importantly, grant us the genuine authenticity he displayed. He was honest and vulnerable with his friends, sharing his joys, his sorrows, and even his moments of doubt. Guide us to be truthful and transparent in our relationships, fostering a safe space for vulnerability and genuine connection.

Lord, may we be inspired by the example of Jesus, the ultimate friend. Help us to cultivate friendships that reflect your love, grace, and compassion, enriching the lives of others and glorifying your name.

In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.