What are some open-ended questions I can ask to get to know someone better, going beyond the typical small talk about hobbies and favorite things? I’m looking for questions that encourage vulnerability, introspection, and storytelling, helping me understand their values, experiences, perspectives, and motivations. Specifically, are there questions tailored to different contexts, like a first date, a work event, or a reconnecting with an old friend scenario? And what are some good follow-up questions to dig deeper once they’ve answered the initial open-ended question?
Answer
Here are some open-ended questions you can ask to get to know someone better, categorized for different aspects of their life and personality:
About their Passions & Interests:
- What are you most passionate about right now?
- What does your ideal weekend look like?
- What’s a skill you’d love to learn, and why?
- What’s a book, movie, or piece of music that has had a significant impact on you?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
- What’s a hobby you enjoy, and what do you find rewarding about it?
- What’s a cause you care deeply about, and what motivates you to support it?
About their Values & Beliefs:
- What are some of the most important values that guide your life?
- What’s something you’ve changed your mind about recently?
- What do you think makes a good friend?
- What does success mean to you?
- What are you most grateful for in your life?
- What is one thing you’re working on improving about yourself?
- What are your thoughts on the importance of community?
About their Experiences & Memories:
- What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- What’s a place you’ve traveled to that has left a lasting impression on you?
- What’s a challenge you’ve overcome that you’re proud of?
- What’s a time you had to step outside of your comfort zone?
- What’s something you’ve learned from a mistake you’ve made?
About their Goals & Aspirations:
- What are you working towards right now?
- What’s a big dream you have for the future?
- What are some small steps you’re taking to achieve your goals?
- If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
- What kind of legacy do you hope to leave behind?
- Where do you see yourself in five years?
- What’s a skill you want to develop to help you reach your goals?
About their Personality & Preferences:
- What’s something that always makes you laugh?
- What are you reading, watching, or listening to right now?
- What kind of environment do you thrive in?
- What’s your favorite way to relax and unwind?
- What are some things that you find inspiring?
- What kind of people do you enjoy spending time with?
- What is your preferred way to approach problem solving?
Icebreaker Type Questions:
- If you could have dinner with any three people, living or dead, who would they be and why?
- What’s one thing that people are often surprised to learn about you?
- What’s the strangest or most interesting job you’ve ever had?
- If you could instantly become an expert in any field, what would it be?
- What’s a quirky or unusual habit you have?
- What’s the most useful thing you own?
- If you were a type of food, what would you be and why?
Remember to listen actively and respond thoughtfully to their answers. Ask follow-up questions to show your genuine interest and encourage them to elaborate. Avoid interrupting, and create a comfortable and open atmosphere for conversation. The goal is to understand their perspective and build a connection based on shared interests and values.
Pray This Prayer
Dear God, Source of all connection and understanding,
I come before you seeking guidance in my relationships. Help me to cultivate deeper bonds with those around me, to truly see and appreciate them for who they are.
Lord, open my mind and heart to listen actively and empathetically. Grant me the wisdom to ask questions that go beyond surface level, questions that invite vulnerability and genuine sharing.
Help me to move beyond simple pleasantries and instead, to explore the depths of another person’s experiences, dreams, and perspectives. Lead me to ask questions like:
- “What’s something you’re really passionate about right now?”
- “What’s a moment in your life that shaped who you are today?”
- “What’s something you’re working towards, and why is it important to you?”
- “What brings you joy and makes you feel alive?”
- “If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?”
- “What’s a lesson you’ve learned recently?”
- “What are you grateful for today?”
- “What’s something you’re proud of accomplishing?”
Grant me the grace to ask these questions with genuine curiosity and without judgment. Let me be a safe space for others to share their stories and be truly seen.
Help me to remember that building genuine connections takes time, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable myself. May my questions lead to deeper understanding, empathy, and ultimately, stronger and more meaningful relationships.
Thank you for the gift of connection and the opportunity to learn from and grow with others.
Amen.