What does it mean to deny myself daily in a practical, everyday sense?

Okay, here’s the expanded question:

Jesus said, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." This "denying oneself" is often talked about in a spiritual context, but what does it actually mean to deny myself daily in a practical, tangible, everyday sense? I’m not talking about grand, sweeping gestures of sacrifice. I’m looking for specific examples. For example, does it mean fighting against impulses, like choosing to exercise instead of watching TV even when I really don’t want to? Does it relate to delayed gratification, prioritizing someone else’s needs, or curbing selfish desires? What does this look like in different areas of life – relationships, work, personal time, finances? What are some concrete, actionable steps I can take each day to "deny myself" in a way that aligns with the teachings of Jesus and deepens my faith, rather than just becoming an exercise in self-flagellation or harsh asceticism? How do I discern between healthy self-care and the call to deny myself?

Answer

To deny yourself daily in a practical, everyday sense means to consciously choose to forgo immediate personal desires, comforts, or preferences in favor of higher values, long-term goals, or the needs of others. It involves a daily practice of self-discipline and prioritizing what is truly important over fleeting impulses. Here’s a breakdown of what this can look like:

Resisting Instant Gratification:

• Delaying rewards: Choosing to work towards a goal (e.g., finishing a project, exercising) before indulging in something enjoyable (e.g., watching TV, eating a treat). This cultivates patience and strengthens willpower.
• Controlling spending: Resisting impulse purchases and sticking to a budget. Saving money for important goals instead of buying unnecessary items.
• Limiting social media: Intentionally setting boundaries on time spent on social media to avoid distractions and wasted time.
• Postponing comfort: Choosing to complete a difficult task first thing in the morning rather than procrastinating.

Sacrificing Comfort for Growth:

• Pushing beyond your comfort zone: Trying something new and challenging, even if it’s intimidating, to learn and grow. This could be public speaking, learning a new skill, or volunteering.
• Embracing discipline: Adhering to a structured routine, such as waking up early to exercise, meditating, or studying, even when you don’t feel like it.
• Confronting fears: Taking small steps to overcome fears and anxieties, rather than avoiding them.
• Accepting constructive criticism: Being open to feedback and using it to improve, even when it’s difficult to hear.

Putting Others First:

• Practicing active listening: Giving your full attention to others when they are speaking, without interrupting or judging.
• Offering help and support: Going out of your way to assist someone in need, even if it’s inconvenient. This could include volunteering your time, running errands for a neighbor, or simply offering a listening ear.
• Showing compassion and empathy: Trying to understand and share the feelings of others, even if you don’t agree with them.
• Forgiving others: Letting go of resentment and bitterness, even when you have been wronged.
• Serving without expectation of reward: Doing good deeds simply because it’s the right thing to do, without expecting anything in return.

Cultivating Gratitude and Contentment:

• Practicing gratitude: Taking time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, rather than focusing on what you lack.
• Finding joy in simplicity: Learning to be content with basic necessities and experiences, rather than constantly seeking more material possessions.
• Minimizing complaining: Consciously choosing to focus on positive aspects and solutions, rather than dwelling on problems.

Maintaining Integrity:

• Telling the truth, even when it’s difficult: Being honest in all your dealings, even when it’s tempting to lie or exaggerate.
• Keeping your promises: Following through on commitments, even when it’s inconvenient.
• Acting with integrity: Doing what is right, even when no one is watching.
• Taking responsibility for your actions: Admitting your mistakes and making amends.

Spiritual Practices:

• Prayer and meditation: Setting aside time for reflection and connection with something greater than yourself.
• Studying sacred texts: Engaging with scriptures and teachings that inspire and guide you.
• Practicing mindfulness: Paying attention to the present moment without judgment, which can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and impulses.

Ultimately, denying yourself daily is about intentionally choosing to live a life of purpose, meaning, and service, rather than simply pursuing personal gratification. It’s a continuous process of self-reflection, discipline, and growth. The specific actions will vary depending on individual circumstances, values, and goals.

Pray This Prayer

Heavenly Father,

I come before you humbled, seeking guidance and understanding. I grapple with the concept of denying myself daily, Lord, and the words seem weighty and difficult. What does it truly mean to live this out, not as a grand gesture, but in the mundane, everyday moments of my life?

Show me, Lord, how to deny my impatience when I’m stuck in traffic, my schedule disrupted, my plans thwarted. Help me to surrender my desire for immediate gratification, choosing instead patience and understanding with those around me.

Teach me to deny my pride and the need to be right, allowing me to listen with an open heart and learn from others, even when I disagree. Empower me to choose humility over arrogance, forgiveness over resentment, and kindness over judgment.

Help me deny the lure of material possessions and the constant craving for “more.” Remind me to be content with what I have, to be generous with my resources, and to find joy not in acquiring, but in giving.

Show me how to deny my own selfish desires in my relationships, prioritizing the needs and well-being of my loved ones. Help me to offer support, understanding, and selfless love, even when it’s inconvenient or challenging.

Guide me, Lord, to deny the temptations that draw me away from you – the distractions that steal my time, the anxieties that cloud my mind, and the fears that paralyze my spirit. Fill me instead with your peace, your strength, and your unwavering love.

Help me to understand that denying myself is not about punishment or deprivation, but about freeing myself to live a life truly aligned with your will, a life of service, love, and purpose.

Thank you for your constant presence and your unwavering love. Help me to take up my cross daily and follow you, Lord, trusting that in losing myself, I will truly find myself in you.

In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.