* How can I tell the difference between my own desires and God’s will?

How can I discern God’s will for my life, particularly when it comes to big decisions like career changes, relationships, or major life choices? What are some practical steps, beyond just prayer, I can take to distinguish between my personal desires, which might be influenced by ego, fear, or societal pressures, and what God is truly calling me to do? Are there specific biblical principles or theological frameworks that can help me evaluate my motivations and align them with God’s purpose? How do I account for the role of circumstances, my own gifts and talents, and the counsel of trusted spiritual mentors in this process? Is it possible that my own desires can actually be God’s will, and if so, how do I confirm that?

Answer

Discerning the difference between personal desires and God’s will involves a multifaceted approach requiring self-reflection, prayer, study of scripture, seeking counsel, and observing the consequences of actions. There’s no single, foolproof method, but rather a combination of factors that, when considered together, can offer clarity.

1. Examining Motivations and Desires:

• Self-Reflection: Honestly assess the source of your desires. Are they rooted in ego, pride, fear, insecurity, or a genuine desire to serve others and glorify God? What needs are these desires attempting to fulfill? Consider if they align with biblical principles of love, justice, humility, and service.
• Biblical Alignment: Do your desires contradict any explicit commands or principles in Scripture? God’s will never contradicts His Word. Studying the Bible regularly provides a foundation for understanding God’s character and values. Look for relevant passages that speak to the specific situation or type of decision you are facing.
• Fruit of the Spirit: Reflect on the potential outcome of pursuing your desires. Will they produce the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)? If the pursuit of your desire breeds anxiety, resentment, or selfishness, it might not be aligned with God’s will.
• Worldly vs. Godly Desires: Discern whether your desires are primarily focused on worldly gain, material possessions, or personal recognition, or if they are focused on eternal values and serving God’s kingdom. Romans 12:2 urges believers not to conform to the pattern of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of their minds.
• Prayer and Meditation: Regularly and sincerely pray for guidance and discernment. Ask God to reveal His will clearly and to align your desires with His. Meditate on Scripture, allowing God’s Word to shape your thoughts and perspectives.
• Fasting: Consider fasting as a means of humbling yourself before God and seeking clarity. Fasting can help to quiet worldly distractions and focus on spiritual matters.

2. Seeking Counsel and Confirmation:

• Wise Counsel: Seek advice from mature, trusted Christians who are grounded in Scripture and known for their wisdom and discernment. Share your thoughts and desires with them and ask for their perspective. Be open to receiving correction and guidance, even if it challenges your own views.
• Community Input: Consider the impact of your decisions on your family, church, and community. If your desires would harm or hinder those around you, they are less likely to be aligned with God’s will.
• Providential Circumstances: Pay attention to the circumstances surrounding your situation. Are there opportunities opening up that seem to be divinely orchestrated? Are there obstacles or closed doors that may be a sign that you are not on the right path? While circumstances alone shouldn’t dictate your decisions, they can provide valuable clues.
• Inner Peace: After prayer, reflection, and seeking counsel, do you experience a sense of peace about your decision? Colossians 3:15 encourages believers to let the peace of Christ rule in their hearts. However, be aware that peace can be confused with complacency or a desire to avoid discomfort. Distinguish between genuine peace and a feeling of simply wanting things to be easy.

3. Taking Action and Evaluating Results:

• Obedience: Once you have a sense of God’s leading, take steps of faith to obey. Waiting for absolute certainty can lead to paralysis. God often guides us one step at a time.
• Observe Consequences: Pay attention to the outcomes of your actions. Are they producing positive results that align with God’s character and purposes? Are they bringing blessing and growth to yourself and others? Or are they leading to negative consequences and hindering your spiritual growth?
• Flexibility: Be willing to adjust your course if necessary. God may redirect you along the way. Humility and a willingness to learn from your mistakes are essential for discerning God’s will.
• Patience: Discerning God’s will is often a process that takes time. Don’t expect instant answers. Be patient and persistent in seeking God’s guidance.

4. Understanding Misconceptions:

• God’s Will is Not Always Easy: Following God’s will may require sacrifice, hardship, and discomfort. Don’t assume that if something is difficult, it is not God’s will.
• God’s Will is Not a Magic Formula: There is no guaranteed formula for discovering God’s will. It requires a relationship with God, a commitment to seeking His guidance, and a willingness to obey.
• God’s Will Allows for Choices: In many situations, there may be multiple options that are all acceptable to God. He may give you the freedom to choose the path that you believe is best. Focus on making decisions that honor God and align with His principles.
• Avoid Superstition: Don’t rely on fortune-telling, signs, or other superstitious practices to determine God’s will. God primarily reveals His will through Scripture, prayer, wise counsel, and providential circumstances.
• Distinguish Preferences from Principles: Sometimes we confuse our personal preferences with God’s principles. It’s important to distinguish between what we simply want and what God requires of us.

5. Ongoing Process:

Discerning God’s will is not a one-time event but an ongoing process. As you grow in your relationship with God and learn to trust His guidance, you will become more attuned to His voice and more confident in your ability to discern His will for your life. Continually cultivate a close relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with other believers.

Pray This Prayer

O Gracious God, Source of all wisdom and truth, I come before you humbled and yearning for guidance. My heart is often tangled, a confusing mix of personal desires and, I hope, your divine will.

Forgive me, Father, for the times I have mistaken my own ambitions for your purpose. Forgive me for the noise within, the clamoring of ego that often drowns out your gentle voice.

How can I tell the difference, Lord? How can I discern the subtle whisper of your spirit from the booming echo of my own wants? I long to align my life with your perfect plan, to be a vessel of your love and grace.

Grant me the wisdom to examine my motivations. Help me to question my impulses, to understand the roots of my longings. Show me if they are born of selfish ambition, or if they are truly aligned with your desire for justice, compassion, and love in the world.

Lead me to prayer and contemplation, to stillness where I can hear your voice. Grant me the humility to seek counsel from wise and faithful mentors who can offer objective guidance.

Help me to see the fruits of the Spirit in the potential outcomes – peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. May these be the hallmarks of a path guided by you.

Finally, Lord, grant me the courage to surrender my own desires, to lay them at your feet and trust that your plan, though often different from my own, is always for my ultimate good and your eternal glory.

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Amen.