Here are some frequently asked questions about the topic: What’s one area of my life I’m still trying to control?:

Here are some frequently asked questions about the topic: What’s one area of my life I’m still trying to control, and what specific behaviors or thought patterns indicate this attempt at control? Also, why do I feel this need for control in this particular area, and what might be the underlying fear or insecurity driving it? Finally, are there any healthier alternative approaches I could explore to address the root cause of this need for control, rather than just trying to micromanage the situation itself?

Answer

One area of life people often struggle to control is their emotions and emotional responses. This can manifest in various ways:

• Reactions to Stress: Trying to manage anxiety, frustration, or anger in challenging situations. This can involve attempts to suppress, avoid, or overcompensate for these feelings. It might involve controlling displays of emotion (e.g., avoiding crying in public, masking anger with a calm demeanor) or the internal experience itself (e.g., trying to "think positive" to avoid feeling sad).

• Relationships and Interpersonal Interactions: Controlling emotional expression to maintain harmony, avoid conflict, or manage others’ perceptions. This could include suppressing feelings of disagreement, jealousy, or hurt to avoid upsetting a partner, friend, or family member. Another aspect is to control the emotional responses of others (e.g., manipulating situations to elicit certain emotions from people).

• Perfectionism and Self-Criticism: Attempting to control internal emotional experiences related to perceived failures or shortcomings. This may involve relentlessly striving for perfection to avoid feelings of inadequacy, shame, or disappointment. Self-criticism is often a mechanism used in an attempt to control oneself through shame, guilt, or anxiety related to performance.

• Past Trauma: An attempt to control memories, triggers, or emotional flashbacks related to past traumatic experiences. This control might manifest as avoidance of certain situations, people, or topics that could trigger emotional distress. There also might be hypervigilance in an attempt to predict and control potential threats.

• Uncertainty and the Future: An effort to control anxiety and fear related to unpredictable future events. This can lead to excessive planning, worry, or attempts to predict and manipulate outcomes to minimize potential negative emotions.

• Habits and Impulses: Trying to control urges or behaviors that provide temporary emotional relief but have negative consequences. This may include struggles with overeating, substance use, or other impulsive behaviors used to manage underlying emotional distress.

• Body Image and Self-Esteem: Attempts to control appearance or behaviors related to body image in an effort to control feelings of self-worth and acceptance. This can involve restrictive dieting, excessive exercise, or other behaviors driven by a desire to achieve a certain ideal and, therefore, control self-esteem.

These areas of attempted control often stem from a desire to avoid uncomfortable or painful emotions, seek security, or maintain a sense of order. However, excessive control can often lead to increased stress, anxiety, and difficulty in forming genuine connections. The key is often to shift from controlling emotions to learning to regulate them in a healthy and adaptive way.

Pray This Prayer

Heavenly Father,

I come before you, humbled and aware of my own struggles. I recognize that my desire for control often overshadows my trust in your divine plan. You know me better than I know myself, and you see the anxieties that bubble within me.

I ask you to illuminate that area of my life where I am still clinging tightly, where I resist letting go and allowing you to lead. Reveal to me, Father, “What’s one area of my life I’m still trying to control?” Is it my career path? My relationships? My health? My finances? Help me identify the source of this need for control – the fear, the insecurity, the lack of faith.

Lord, grant me the wisdom to understand that true freedom lies in surrendering to your will. Help me release my grip on this area, trusting that you have a better plan for me than I could ever imagine. Replace my anxiety with peace, my fear with courage, and my need to control with a deep and abiding faith in your unwavering love and guidance.

Give me the strength to embrace the uncertainty of your path, knowing that even in the midst of the unknown, you are always with me. Thank you for your patience and your unending grace.

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.