What are the key behavioral, verbal, and non-verbal red flags that I should be aware of when interacting with someone new that might indicate they are untrustworthy, potentially manipulative, or likely to act in bad faith, specifically considering both short-term and long-term interactions, and how can I best assess the reliability of information they provide, especially if it’s difficult to verify independently?
Answer
Key red flags that indicate someone might not be trustworthy include:
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Inconsistent behavior and stories: A person who frequently changes their story, provides conflicting information, or acts in ways that contradict their words is a major red flag. Watch for discrepancies between their verbal claims and their actions.
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Excessive lying, even about small things: Untrustworthy individuals often engage in habitual lying, even when the lies are unnecessary or inconsequential. This suggests a disregard for the truth and a willingness to deceive.
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Grooming behavior: This involves excessive flattery, compliments, or promises that seem too good to be true. They may be trying to build trust quickly to manipulate you later. They might use mirroring, adopting your language and interests to seem more relatable.
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Lack of accountability: They consistently blame others for their mistakes, avoid taking responsibility for their actions, and make excuses for their failures. They might be quick to deflect blame or project their shortcomings onto others.
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Gaslighting: They manipulate you into questioning your own sanity or perception of reality. This can involve denying events that happened, distorting information, or accusing you of being irrational.
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Violation of boundaries: They disregard your personal boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or professional. This could involve pressuring you to do things you’re uncomfortable with, sharing your personal information without your consent, or invading your personal space.
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Secretive behavior: They are overly secretive about their personal life, finances, or activities. They may be unwilling to share details about their past or present, or they may be evasive when asked direct questions. They might exhibit excessive privacy with their phone or computer.
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Lack of empathy and disregard for others’ feelings: They show little concern for the emotions or well-being of others, and they may be insensitive to your feelings. They might dismiss your concerns or show a lack of interest in your experiences.
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Manipulative tactics: They use emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or threats to get what they want. They might try to play on your emotions to influence your decisions.
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Gossip and backstabbing: They frequently engage in gossip and backstabbing, speaking negatively about others behind their backs. This suggests they may also be talking about you behind your back.
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History of dishonesty: A past history of cheating, lying, or betraying others is a strong indicator that they may be untrustworthy in the future. Investigate their past relationships and professional history for any red flags.
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Inability to maintain long-term relationships: They have difficulty maintaining stable, healthy relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or professional. This could be due to their untrustworthy behavior. Examine their relationship patterns for signs of instability or betrayal.
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Exploitation of others: They take advantage of others for personal gain, using them for their own benefit without regard for their well-being.
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Contradictory nonverbal cues: Their body language and facial expressions don’t match their words. For example, they might say they’re being honest but avoid eye contact or fidget nervously.
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Disregard for rules and laws: They have a history of breaking rules or laws, demonstrating a disregard for ethical behavior and societal norms.
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Arrogance and entitlement: They believe they are above the rules and entitled to special treatment, indicating a lack of respect for others and a willingness to manipulate situations to their advantage.
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Inconsistent alibis and explanations: When questioned about their whereabouts or actions, their alibis are vague, inconsistent, or lack detail.
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Pressure tactics: They rush you to make decisions or commitments before you have had time to consider the implications. They might use phrases like “This is a limited-time offer” or “You need to decide now.”
Pray This Prayer
Okay, here’s a prayer incorporating the concept of discerning untrustworthy individuals and seeking guidance to navigate those situations with wisdom and protection:
Prayer for Discernment and Protection from Untrustworthy People
Divine Source of Truth and Light,
I come before you seeking wisdom and discernment. The world is a complex place, and it is sometimes difficult to know who walks with sincerity and who wears a mask. Grant me clarity to recognize the key red flags that signal a lack of trustworthiness.
Help me see beyond charming words and promises that seem too good to be true. Sharpen my intuition so I may perceive:
- Inconsistencies in speech and action, those whose words do not align with their deeds.
- A lack of accountability, where blame is shifted and responsibility avoided.
- A pattern of broken promises and commitments, showing disregard for their word.
- Excessive flattery and manipulation, designed to gain an advantage.
- Disregard for boundaries, showing a lack of respect for my own personal space and limits.
- Gossip and backstabbing, revealing a lack of loyalty and respect for others.
- A history of dishonesty and deceit, warning me of repeating the past.
Lord, protect me from those who would seek to exploit, manipulate, or harm me. Give me the strength to set healthy boundaries and the courage to walk away from relationships that drain my energy and compromise my values. Surround me with people of integrity, honesty, and genuine kindness.
Guide my actions in all interactions. Help me to respond with grace and wisdom, even when confronted with deceit. Let me not be consumed by suspicion, but rather grounded in faith and discernment. May I always trust in your guidance and protection.
Thank you for hearing my prayer. I trust in your wisdom and guidance.
Amen.